You do not need to be exceptionally good looking or be a multi-millionaire for people to like you. Likability comes from a series of behaviors that anyone can develop with enough time and practice. Several researchers at various prominent universities did a survey to determine which adjectives were considered most indicative of the likability of a person.
Surprisingly, the most common words were not related to external characteristics like intelligence or good looks; most people chose such qualities as transparency, sincerity and the ability to understand other people.
These people have been characterized as being emotionally and socially intelligent. If you want to become more likable, read on carefully:
1. Ask many questions
There is a popular misconception that most people believe that being a good listener means being silent when someone is talking to them. The result is that any questions they might have about the topic would be ignored which in turn would be an inefficient exchange of information.
Don’t assume, if you are unsure ask questions where necessary to clarify anything that you might be unsure about what the other person is saying.
Asking questions ensures that you have a better understanding of the topic, but it also shows the other person that you are actively paying attention.
2. Mind your phone manners
Few things can derail a conversation more quickly than someone incessantly staring at their phone while they are talking or being told to do so. When you are talking to someone, keep your phone away. It shows them that you are more invested in the conversation, and it makes the whole experience more enriching for all parties involved.
3. Be You
It might sound like a cliché, but it is one of the most misunderstood aspects of behavior. Being yourself does not mean trying to act like a version of yourself that you think will be appreciated by someone else.
Being yourself means being authentic, knowing what your views and opinions are, and sticking to them.
Even if you have to disagree occasionally with your friends, family or people you interact with, sticking to your beliefs lends you a more trustworthy vibe.
If people see that you stick to your guns even in unfavorable situations, they will gravitate towards you.
They will see that you are someone who knows what they want and doesn’t worry about pleasing other people all the time.
4. Don’t be judgmental
Too many of us make snap judgments about people whose lifestyle choices or opinions are different from our own. Instead, try to be more open-minded.
This way, you will be more approachable, and you can have stimulating conversations with people whose views are different from your own.
A big part of learning and becoming better as a person is the ability to let go of preconceived notions or biases. Even if you do not agree with someone’s choices, you must develop the capacity to put yourself in their shoes and understand their viewpoint.
5. Don’t be an attention seeker
You do not have to be loud and obnoxious, wear eccentric clothes or over do it with the emotional drama to become likable. Neediness is an unattractive quality.
Simply being affable and friendly can get you further than eccentricity. State your opinions with confidence and without embellishments. People will realize you are a straight shooter, and you will gain respect and attention automatically.
6. Maintain a positive attitude and a confident body language
Self-assured people rarely have bad body language. Simple things like adopting an upright posture and maintaining eye contact will have a profound effect on the way people perceive you.
Try to be more enthusiastic in conversations. Open your arms and take up more space where you are sitting. These body language cues denote social intelligence and are attractive to other people.
7. Make Your First impression be the ONLY impression
Studies have shown that people form lasting opinions of you within seven seconds of meeting you.
Once this point of view is created, they will spend the rest of the interaction trying to prove this idea right. Don’t be alarmed by this phenomenon. You can use it in your favor. Smile, broaden your shoulders and shake hands firmly with whomever, you are meeting for the first time.
8. Remember Names
Everyone loves hearing the sound of his or her name, especially when other people say it. Make it a point to remember people’s names and use them every time you meet them.
Sprinkling people’s names into a conversation you might be having with them is also a good idea. If you are not very good at remembering names or faces, look up some memory exercises which will help you.
9. Smile often
Who does not like to be around a bunch of smiling people? It does not mean you should maintain a psychotic, Joker-like grin on your face throughout the day. However, when you are talking to someone, make it a point to smile now and then. It will make both of you feel more at ease.
10. Let Yourself Be Vulnerable
Emotionally stable people are not the ones who have absolutely no problems in their life.
On the contrary, real strength lies in being able to admit when you are working through some issues.
Make sure you know when to open up, however. If you burden someone with your tale of woe the first time you are having a conversation, you will quickly be labeled as someone to avoid.
11. Knowing a persons touch points
Touching is a great way to establish intimacy. Even something as innocuous as a nudge on the shoulder or a touch on the arm goes a long way towards creating a deeper connection.
Because when someone touches you, your brain releases a chemical called oxytocin, which is responsible for generating feelings of intimacy. Just make sure you have the appropriate context established first. You do not want to become the creepy person in your social circle.
12. Work on your passion
People who are passionate about what they are doing in life are intoxicating to be around. They give off energy that other people find attractive. Figure out what you love to do, and devote more time in your life to pursuing them.
13. Show interest in other people’s lives
Sure, discovering that your coworker just had a baby might not be particularly exciting for you. However, for the person in question, it is one of the most significant experiences of their life. Take a few moments to have meaningful interactions with people around you.
You do not need to indulge in gossip, but showing that you remember something one of your friends said to you last week indicates that you value your relationship with them.
Charismatic people are the life-force of a group. They inspire other people and lighten up a room when they walk in. With a few easy behavioral tweaks, you too can be one of these people. Adopt the habits mentioned above to become the person everyone wants to be around.
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