Relationships can be complex and are often difficult to maintain. The essential thing among an array of elements that impact the relationship is trust. Without trust, a relationship cannot thrive. The problem arises when you realize that, on one side or the other, trust is eroded or missing. How do you respond to such a situation?
The circumstances differ from case to case. There may be a relationship which was once built on trust that is now somehow missing.
Other people may be in a situation where trust has never been strong.
Whether the state of your partnership falls into one of these categories or is somewhere in between, if you value the bond you have developed, you will want to find ways to strengthen the trust each of you has in the other.
It is the only way to repair the relationship. Fortunately, some advice is available to help you mend and build the mutual sense of confidence you must find.
Talk Isn’t Cheap – It’s Invaluable
An irreplaceable tool for people wanting to grow or remain close is the ability to communicate openly and honestly. Every couple has issues that can destroy a partnership if they are not addressed. Talking about the problems allows you to take a few necessary steps.
First is to admit that a problem exists; next, is sharing the desire to work toward a solution. This cannot be achieved in silence. It requires conversation involving both parties, as a mutual effort must be undertaken. Communication itself needs to take place in an atmosphere of trust. Name the problem, so you know that you are not in denial.
Discussing your trust issues may be enlightening, as you learn to see your relationship from your partner’s perspective, which may be very different from yours.
Avoid hurtful accusations; simply talk about the existing problem and investigate possible remedies. Blame does not belong in this conversation.
What is crucial is that you both agree that you want this partnership enough to work at making it secure. Even though one person may only feel the lack of trust, it is an issue that affects you both.
Laying the problem at the feet of the less secure individual is not the way to make progress toward resolution. Having a good relationship means that you must both shoulder the burden of building and maintaining the bond you share.
Little White Lies Can Discolor Your Relationship
An inherent part of trust is truth. Lies are destructive to a relationship, even when they are well-intended. Being caught in a lie is not the only source of damage. Someone who lies may logically assume that his partner shares the same values and cannot, in turn, be trusted, to be honest.
If you know that you do not always tell the truth, it is easy to expect the same behavior from the other person. Your dishonesty and your assumption of your partner’s deceit will erode your trust and result in damaging the relationship. Lying leads to no good. Avoid it at all costs.
Actions Speak the Loudest
Previous or current behaviors often provide a basis on which your partner’s level of trust in you rests. If there are – or ever have been – issues regarding your intimate interactions with the other sex, you may have a steep climb to gaining and maintaining your partner’s trust.
It is of particular importance to consistently behave in a reassuring way.
Words expressing your commitment are helpful, but as always, your actions speak more loudly.
Avoid putting yourself in compromising positions. That way you will neither face temptation nor cause insecurity for your partner.
Have healthy interactions and conversations with other men and women, but guard against flirting or sexual innuendos. In social situations, pay the most attention to your special person, emphasizing that they are the most important person in your world.
Watch your words, as a thoughtful change in what you say – before you say it – can have far-reaching effects. If your partner has a lack of confidence in his or her appearance, be especially careful.
If you are discussing a friend or co-worker that you would consider extraordinarily good-looking, try to refer to that person as “kind of attractive” rather than as “a knockout.” Denying an obvious fact can lead to concerns that you are hiding something, and trust is eroded, so don’t totally deny the obvious.
Pssst! Secrets Stink
Secrets imply dishonesty and are a sure nail in the coffin of a relationship. Secrets get in the way of open communication and building strong bonds. Keeping a secret implies that your trust in your partner is not strong enough that you feel you can share everything. The lack of complete openness blocks the paths of communication and heads a relationship toward its demise.
Strip Away Your Shield
If you trust your partner, you will lower your defenses and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Maintaining your protective shell is proving that trust is not complete. Make it a point to open up, revealing your innermost thoughts and feelings.
Allow your partner to see the real you, without filters or dissembling. By revealing previously hidden parts of yourself to the other person, you encourage the same behavior in return, further deepening and strengthening the bond between the two of you.
To Neglect Is to Mistreat
Neglect of a child is against the law; abandonment of a relationship also carries penalties.
Erosion of trust does not repair itself. This takes us back to communication, openness, honesty, and self-revelation. Pay attention to problems you perceive and use these tools to resolve the issues.
Lost trust can be regained, but it is not an easy task. If you agree, upon evaluating your relationship, that it is worth saving, talk about it and devise a plan. What behaviors can you modify that will put you back on the road to a stable, lasting partnership? Making these changes should not be too great a burden if you want this to succeed.
You will find that after you have begun to work on the relationship, your bond will grow. Sharing the problems and working together to eliminate them brings you closer and creates deeper mutual understanding.
Taking an assertive, positive approach in this way will strengthen your relationship and trust will naturally grow. The product of your careful attention to this important partnership is the solid and long-lasting bond you have sought for so long.
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