Most people aim for success in their lives. While they have different definitions of the word, one of the most common measures seems to be income level. The shorter shift is given to other factors like having healthy relationships, enjoying the work you do, and feeling good about your life.
It seems, however, that when questioned about it, the most successful folks whether famous or unknown, agree on one element that is crucial.
In their opinion, the key to success, no matter your circumstances, is your mental attitude.
Optimism does not come naturally to everyone. You can, however, develop the ability to maintain an upbeat attitude.
Our outlook on life is something that we begin to establish in our childhood and continue to strengthen and deepen as we grow into adults. We can all recognize that not every behavior or attitude that we develop is a good one.
The good news is that these can be changed. As we mature and experience more of life, we begin to recognize emotions and habits that have been ingrained in us can, in fact, be changed.
Ridding ourselves of the negatives and replacing them with positives is not easy, but it is achievable. The necessary elements to making these changes are determination and time.
Have you observed yourself and found things not entirely to your liking? Have you made unsuccessful attempts to change the way you live your life? The missing key in your efforts is probably the failure to change your mental habits.
You can create for yourself a happier life, make your work an active and productive part of your existence, improve your personal relations. Following six basic steps can bring you the changes you seek.
(1) Take Your Best Qualities to the Mental Gym
You will not find anyone who is free of weaknesses and failures. On the other hand, we can all identify strengths within ourselves if we do an objective analysis. Search for and use these powers.
Self-audits, if honestly and thoughtfully performed, can provide a basis for change. Ask a few friends, family members or co-workers to help you note your high points.
Then proceed to list all the positive characteristics. As you make your list, be sure to include everything that comes to mind, including your thick, shiny hair, your love of animals, the project you managed at work, your availability to friends who need you, your green thumb in the garden. Maintain your positivity by avoiding any “Yeah, but’s” when thinking about your good qualities.
Next, evaluate the time you regularly devote to using all those strengths. Do you take the time to nurture the relationships?
Are you taking on more projects that you manage so well? Are you devoting time to the things you enjoy and at which you succeed?
Having strengths does nothing for you if you fail to use those powers. It is easy to let them gather dust as other life issues take priority and your life becomes less and less enjoyable, and you lose enthusiasm for each day.
You must choose what you include in your daily schedule, and those inclusions should play to your best qualities. They are like muscles – they need to be used to gain strength.
(2) Behave Your Way to Positive Thinking
It may be no surprise to you to hear that what you think affects what you do. Were you aware, however, that the opposite is also true? If for example, you have no confidence in your ability to chat with strangers and develop friendships, you may become isolated as you shrink from interactions with others.
Unfortunately, just as you cannot swim before you have entered the water, you cannot make new friends until you are among new people.
Taking the plunge, while often frightening, is the beginning step to gaining confidence, finding an ability you may not have known you possessed. The lesson here is to act as if you can do something, even if you do not believe you can.
Begin by planning to succeed. Visualize yourself being successful and enjoying the experience. Recall outgoing people that you have observed and analyze what they do in a group of strangers.
Put your focus on the other people, not on yourself, by thinking of a few open-ended questions to ask as ice-breakers. People like to talk about themselves if given the opportunity, so you can create that opening and take the pressure off yourself.
If you still don’t feel confident enough to try this out in real life, practice your plan in your head. Create a stranger and a situation, then run through a few questions you could use to start the conversation.
As your brain becomes familiar with the process, it will become easier, and you will soon be ready to engage a stranger you meet in a comfortable setting. It will surprise you how much this mental role-playing can help you to get rid of negative behaviors and encourage the development of powerful new emotional strengths.
(3) Build Your Tower of Strength One Brick at a Time
Think carefully about the change you want to make in your life in the same logical way you would approach a project at work.
Grab pencil and paper and begin by identifying the goal. Note the tools available to you and those that will need to be acquired.
List and put in logical order the steps to reach the target. Gather your tools and review step one as you ignore the rest of the list. The rule is to take one thing at a time, breaking the overall job into small, manageable pieces. Focusing on one thing at a time helps prevent being overwhelmed.
As you prepare your plan, make your goals at each level “S.M.A.R.T”. Start with “S” as your goal must be specific. “M” means have a goal you can measure – put limits on it. “A” reminds you to make each item on your list achievable.
Don’t strive for the impossible. “R” stands for realistic and “T,” tells you to be timely, establish some time limits for yourself and stick to them.
Realize that while your steps may seem small, a collection of small steps in the same direction turns into a big step as you continue your work.
(4) The Tortoise Rules
Life changes are not quick fixes. Being focused on your goal and committed to the long haul is the path to success. There will be achievements and challenges, but consistent, unfailing effort over time will reap the reward of seeking your life change.
Your confidence will grow with each success, and every challenge brings an opportunity to prevail and develop.
Keep your goal in mind. Make it visible with reminders or photos posted in strategic spots around your house. For example, overweight people often find putting a picture of an attractive, slender person on the refrigerator door serves to discourage them from snacking.
When what you perceive as your lack of progress is discouraging, remember the story of the tortoise and the hare. Just keep going, and you will reach the finish line on time.
(5) Be Your Own Rooster
Start each day in a positive way. You do not have to greet the rooster as he crows in the morning, but you do have to set the tone for your day by starting out with something that feels right and starts your internal engine. Rise early enough to be in control of your time.
Go for a walk or a run, take an invigorating shower, admire the sunrise as you sip a steaming cup of coffee, fuel yourself with a good breakfast.
Set up a routine that you find puts you in a forward-looking mood and carry that attitude throughout your day.
(6) Little Goals Mean a Lot
Set yourself up for an enjoyable success. Choose the strengths and skills you want to enhance and realize that you are not required to master everything in life. Carefully selecting the individual goals gives you an enjoyable and productive route to self-mastery.
Each thing that you accomplish through directed effort takes you further on your journey. Whether you strive to add to your skills at work or to learn a new language or how to roller blade, each addition to your list of achievements moves you along toward your overall goal of changing your attitude toward life.
You, too, can realize your dreams. That opportunity remains available to you, despite your age or situation. Follow the six steps discussed above. Start today, not tomorrow, with the first small movement in the right direction to a more positive, confident, and happier you.
- Readers Rating
- Rated 5 stars
5 / 5 (Reviewers)
- Your Rating